Three cheers for cbeebies We'd all love to give our kids 24 hours of attention each day but in the real world there's plenty else that needs to be done and anyway the kids would only go on to want 25 hours of attention 8 days a week! These days it's not really fashionable to admit that you ever 'park the kids in front of the TV'. The prevailing view is that this mindless pap corrupts your children and stops them having real interactions leaving them gaping open mouthed and learning nothing. In fact this is quite wide of the mark. Gone are the days when children's TV programmes were just made by hippies who had taken far too many drugs. Today's kids TV, especially that for pre-school children on the 'worthy' BBC,  is actually put together by some of the country's top early learning educationalists to quietly expand the minds of its young viewers, encouraging creativity, stimulating observational skills and encouraging them to express themselves through singing and movement. On the pre-school cbeebies channel (on satellite or digital freeview) the programmes for younger kids can all be found running back to back without any adverts or violence. It's always on during the kids waking hours and in the evening the 'bedtime hour' is a great prompt to wind the kids down and then give them a very strong cue to go to bed at 7 O'clock. Having said all this, the stuff really is for kids only. It does me no good at all in fact I sometimes wonder if it was the kids or just the kids' TV that turned my brain to jelly. As an adult it all raises many un-answered questions: Just what is the nature of the relationship between Bob the Builder and his glamorous assistant Wendy? Will he ever make an honest woman out of her? Why haven't the Tweenies grown up yet? What exactly is that strange erectile tissue that the Fimbles have on top of their heads and how does it help them to achieve such a heightened state of ecstasy over the fact that they have just found a hairbrush or a spoon? Ballamory is a tots soap set in a sickeningly politically correct Scottish island village. A bizarre green-eyed Scottish woman declares daily that 'everyone is going to wark and skill'. What's all that about? And while we're on the subject how exactly did 'Josie Jump' earn such a colourful nickname? Was it really necessary to 're-brand' playschool as tikkabilla? It's just the same but now sounds like something you would receive after a night out in a curry house. When the latest offering 'Big cook little cook was mis-pronounced by my two year old son (lets just say he missed out one or two of the 'o's) I couldn't restrain myself from rolling around with laughter for five minutes. Unfortunately this of course caused the behaviour to be repeated every time they come on. These guys prepare food 'in the shape of' something interesting that frankly looks less tempting than a wholemeal organic cereal bar! Also how did Angelmouse ever get to be an Angel if he's so grumpy and Do the parents make Emily-Elizabeth clean up after Clifford the Big Red Dog? Sorry I've gone off on a bit of a tangent here haven't I? The point I'm trying to make is that Cbeebies is great let the kids watch it they'll love it but as for yourself…take the opportunity to go and put that washing away and make the dinner it could save your sanity! Neil